We Don't Have Time To Despair

November 5th has many of us reeling. And I, especially so. As the first votes were being counted on that unforgettable day, my father, Jack Stromberg, was taking his last breaths. Now, a week after the world changed for us all, I thought I would share some leadership lessons from a life well-lived.

But first, some context: My father was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico to a tailor with an 8th grade education whose family had recently immigrated from Germany and an American pioneer who could trace her lineage back to 1619 Jamestown. Unlike my mother who grew up in war-torn Norway, Jack Stromberg’s idyllic childhood was not hampered by WWII. He was raised on a tree-lined street where he loved playing “soldiers” with his beloved younger brother, Kurt, and the neighborhood boys. On the weekends, he camped with his Boy Scout troop in the mountains near Los Alamos. He told us he remembered being woken one night by bright lights on the horizon. 

As he grew, my father became a calf-roping rodeo star, captain of his football team, and valedictorian of his high school. As a young man, he wanted to get far away from his “small town” roots and see the world. He started off by attending Dartmouth College where he graduated Phi Beta Kappa. Then, he went on to study philosophy in England at Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar and finally finished his stellar education at Stanford Law School where he became an editor of the Law Review. By the end of his life, Jack Stromberg had traveled around the globe, conducted business with leaders across many countries, and made friends wherever he went. But, as far as he went - and as hard as he tried - Jack Stromberg would forever be that wide-eyed hometown boy who loved his mother, his family, and his country.

Here are five leadership lessons from a life well-lived:

1) Be Curious

“Insatiably curious” was how my grandmother once described her son to me. A voracious reader, my father’s bookshelves ranged from tomes on Descartes, Kant, and Nietzsche to encyclopedias on science and the natural world to literary classics such as Great Expectations, The Grapes of Wrath, and 1984. On Sundays when he wasn’t working or on a business trip to some far-flung place, my father’s favorite thing was to read not one, but three newspapers while listening to his favorite record albums including music from Coltrane, Nat King Cole, and his friend and co-Rhodes Scholar, Kris Kristofferson. Jack Stromberg wanted to learn and see and experience as much as he could and in doing so taught my siblings and me that, “It’s impossible to know everything, but don't stop trying.”

2) Be Kind

Jack Stromberg loved a great debate. It didn’t matter the topic, my father wanted to dissect and discuss it. One of his closest friends from college, Tryg Myhren, who himself had a rousing career as a media pioneer, venture capitalist, and philanthropist, called my father “uniquely intelligent.” And he was. But what set my father apart was that in all of his actions including during his debates, he strove to be kind. Winning wasn’t about shaming or besting the other, it was about sharing ideas, learning from each other, and together solving the big problems of the world. He often said,“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”

3) Be the Change

Jack Stromberg was a great believer in the American experiment, which likely comes as no surprise; the system worked for him. But while my father truly believed democracy was the answer, he had become disillusioned with American capitalism. He rose in his career working with and for companies who believed profits at all cost were NOT the answer. He deeply believed companies have a responsibility beyond the bottom line. A passionate advocate of Stakeholder Capitalism, he spent the last few decades of his life railing against the “capricious CEOs and carried interest crowd” who have materially benefited while others - employees, communities, the climate, all equally essential to business success - have been harmed. But rather than overthrow capitalism, my father argued the system can and does change. He encouraged me to respect the system and to understand that the system is always evolving. He often told me,“If you don’t like where things are going, change it.”

4) Be Resilient

My widely talented friend, the author, essayist, and journalist, Janice Rochalle Littlejohn, recently posted on Facebook, “I am not ok.” She is not alone. So many people are struggling to navigate the new normal, harder still if you are part of an underrepresented and under-supported community. As a white, heterosexual man who grew up in the mid-1950s, my father had every seeming advantage, but he struggled with undiagnosed anxiety, had panic attacks in college and graduate school, and came to see that resilience can only happen when we take the time to refuel and rejuvenate. He believed that with great privilege comes great responsibility, but the burdens of that responsibility can be immense. He taught me that feigning strength is not leadership, it’s denial. While being productive was key to his DNA, my father understood that healing and self-care were also essential. One of my father’s life mottos: “Work hard. Play hard. And, don’t forget to have a good time.”

5) Take Action

Jack Stromberg was a man of his times. He was the epitome of the 1950s visible man. The world served up to my father all it had to offer and he rose to each and every occasion. And to his dying day, he remained convinced that in this great country, anything is possible. But late in life my father became an advocate for the underrepresented, particularly women. At first a deep believer in the power of meritocracy, he later came to see that while he grew up during a golden age of opportunity for men like him, not everyone was as privileged as he. In one of his many acts of allyship, my father, who had been on the board of the exclusive Pacific Union Club - an all-men’s business association in San Francisco - wrote a letter of rebuke to his colleagues. “It is high time we opened our doors to women,” he insisted. When the board refused to modernize, he very publicly stepped down and canceled his membership.

Raised as a Presbyterian, Jack Stromberg had a cautious and doubt-plagued belief in God and the afterlife. Not sure what comes next, he lived his life as though every day counted. And to him, it did. In his final few months on this good earth, my father didn’t want to talk about his death, but he did want to talk about my future. “Move on,” he admonished. He loved to say,  “Make hay while the sun shines” but what he really meant was, “Don’t wallow; life is too short,” because, “Every day counts”; you never know which day is your last.

In closing, I’d like to quote from Former National Review Fellow and avowed conservative, David French’s recent NYT op-ed. You might think that a pro-choice West Coast agnostic and a pro-life, southern evangelical Christian would not find much common ground. But you’d be wrong. Like my father, David and I share a deep love of this country, a deep belief in the power of its pluralism, and great hope for its potential. 

One last note from my friend, Guy Kawasaki, who wrote in his latest Remarkable People substack:

My father would likely add…and then, go forward.

Lead On!

Lisen

The Cavalry’s Already Here ;)

You may have seen Elon Musk’s post on X indicating that the Cavalry (ie: men) had arrived. Well, Elon, the Cavalry has always been here. For years now, I’ve been working with good men who know that success comes when each and everyone of us thrives. 

If you are struggling with team dynamics or how to lead in these turbulent times, schedule a FREE 30 minute call with me to discuss how I can help. #BetterTogether

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